Quotes, Text messages, Facts, SMS Collection,Funny,Amazing images, Hollywood-Bollywood Wallpapers, E-cards, Latest Fashion, Gadgets, Video Songs, etc.
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
03 June, 2013
11 March, 2013
04 December, 2012
08 October, 2012
02 October, 2012
24 June, 2012
26 May, 2012
17 April, 2012
14 April, 2012
29 May, 2011
07 May, 2007
Meaning of Appraisal
A newly joined trainee asks his boss "what is the meaning of appraisal?"
Boss: "Do you know the meaning of resignation?"
Trainee: "Yes I do"
Boss: "So let me make you understand what a appraisal is by comparing it with resignation"
Comparison study: appraisal and resignation
- In appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors and failures.
- In resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past achievements and success.
- In appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even 10% hike.
- In resignation you can easily demand (or get even without asking) more than 50-60% hike.
- During appraisal, they will deny promotion saying you didn't meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and you had several drawbacks in our objective/goal.
- During resignation, they will say you are the core member of team; you are the vision of the company how can you go, you have to take the project in shoulder and lead your juniors to success.
- There is 90% chance for not getting any significant incentives after appraisal.
- There is 90% chance of getting immediate hike after you put the resignation.
- Trainee: "Yes boss enough, now I understood my future. For an appraisal I will have to resign!"
Ways to Propose Her
- (Walk up behind girl and point fingers shaped like gun into her back)
"You're under arrest!"
(For what?)
"For stealing my heart." - Hi, my name is Chance, Do I have one?
- Are your legs tired?
(girl: Why?)
because you have been running through my mind all day! - "I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?"
- Can you give me directions to your heart?
I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes. - (Take a look at the tag on the girls shirt,jacket, etc.)
She would say,"What are doing"
Respond,"Oh, just checking to see if you were made in Heaven." - (Pick up a flower and walk over to girl.)
"I was just showing this flower how beautiful you are." - Is it hot in here or is it just you?
- Walk up to a guy and say: "Are you from Greece?"
"No" he answers.
"Oh, I thought all the gods were from Greece" - I could be born in your eye, run down your cheek,and die on your lips.
- Did you know they changed the alphabet? They put U and I together.
- Are you lost?
cause it's so strange to see an angel so far from heaven. - Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by you again?
- What's that in your eye? Oh...it's a sparkle.
- You can forget about going to heaven because it's sin to look that good.
- If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.
Funny Letter to Increase Salary
Dear Bo$$,
A$ all of u$ have read from the new$paper$, the $ingapore economy ha$ come out of the rece$$ion.
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately, I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of U$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. you kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
A$ all of u$ have read from the new$paper$, the $ingapore economy ha$ come out of the rece$$ion.
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately, I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of U$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. you kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)













